This Is How Female Pleasure And Desire Is Wildly Misunderstood

Female pleasure and desire is wildly misunderstood by men and by women themselves. 

This is for men who are in a relationship with a woman who has lost the connection with her desire and for women who are experiencing this lack of desire in their current relationship. 

Yes, hormones, stress, the shift into becoming a mother all can have a significant impact on how women experience their sexuality and the connection to their bodies. 

And yet, this is not the full picture. There’s many other factors going on that men and women themselves are unaware of. I will share one factor that is often overlooked here and will continue to share more on this topic. 

For female desire to come online, there is a mechanism at play in the body that can be described as an opening. For pleasure to arise, the body has to open. 

For men this is different, a lot of the time desire happens quickly, easily and they are not dependent on the right circumstances. 

However, for a women to access her turn on, this deeper opening needs to happen. If we bypass this opening it can feel disconnected, mechanical and not as fulfilling. 

When a woman says yes to intimacy without being truly ready, this overrides her natural wisdom. This can look like saying yes too soon or wanting to please their partner.

In the short term this does not have any major effects, however over time the body will remember and start to shut down. As a woman the body will then lose trust in her and this looks like a feeling of disconnect from the body and thus, a lack of desire. This is also caused by past experiences women had that might a long time ago with other partners that might have been nonconsensual. The body remembers it all. 

To bring back desire that has been lost from this process, a woman need to get back in tune with her no. To be able to have a true, full, authentic yes, she needs to be fully connected to her authentic no. This is how the body rebuilds trust and opening can happen again. 

Another misunderstanding is that people have the assumption that men have more desire for physical intimacy than women. In some ways it can look like that but in reality most women have much more access to desire than men do. However, the catch here is that it is much easier for that desire to be covered up by protection mechanisms. This is why on the surface level it looks different. 

When theres a mismatch in desire there is a dynamic created that creates pressure, judgement and from here a further pushing away energetic that brings couples even further away from each other.

As a man there is an art in learning about female desire, how to show up in a way that will open her and how to navigate the things that are getting in the way. 

If you are curious to learn more about this as a man or as a woman, feel free to send me a message here. 

I’d love to hear your thoughts.