The Pressure Your Put On Yourself In Sex

Let’s talk about the pressure that a lot of men put on themselves when it comes to intimacy in the bedroom. This is a common struggle man express to me all the time. 

It’s no surprise that this happens so frequently since most of of the education we receive is through unrealistic porn and media. Which stays very much on the surface level.

A lot of men get caught up in their head and the more they want things to go a certain way, the more they end up working against themselves. 

For example: creating inner thought loops of frustration, beating themselves up and creating pressure. This affects confidence and self worth in very direct ways because our sexuality is a core part of who we are. 

So how can you step out of this frustrating pattern? I will share with you 3 different elements that I use when working on this issue with my clients. 

The first one is all about breaking free from habituated patterns. 

Over the years the way that men experience pleasure has become very habituated. There is a certain way that we behave, breathe, move and touch and in our brain this becomes like a ‘super highway’ neuronal pathway. When you start introducing new ways of working with pleasure you will be able to feel more in control of what is happening instead of feeling controlled by it. 

Next is the idea of rewiring. 

This goes hand in hand with the idea of habituation. When you rewire your experience of pleasure and intimacy you will start feeling new ways of pleasure, connection and turn on. This is also where you can work to stop any addictive patterns that in the past have given you this quick dopamine boost and leaves you still not feeling fully satisfied. 

You can learn how to rewire your brain by working with tantric practices that bring in the elements of breath, sound and movement. It’s very powerful to learn to take advantage of the fact that pleasure encourages neuroplasticity. This term refers to the brain's ability to modify, change, and adapt both structure and function throughout life and in response to experience. Basically, it makes our brain and consciousness more malleable. This is a quality we can use to our advantage to shift certain habits, belief systems and behaviors. 

Finally, you want to learn how to release any negative and limited programming and conditioning that you have received on the topic of intimacy. 

Over our life we have received so many messages around the topic of pleasure as well as ideas of how intimacy ’supposed’ to look like. When our experience of sex is connected with negativity, it gets us caught up in our head and creates all blocks and limitations.

I recommend finding someone that can offer a safe, non judgmental space to bring these parts to the light. I work on this with my clients and offer them specific practices that intentionally release these blocks and limitations. 

I hope this was helpful for you. Feel free to reach out if you have any questions or to find out how I can support in this.